When I was growing up, I went through activities like seasons. I played every sport imaginable (seriously, from t-ball and tennis, to soccer and basketball), cycled through instruments (violin, piano and flute) and even tried my hand at things like gymnastics and figure skating. I quit every single one of those and then some.
I quit not because I was lazy, but because I didn’t have anything to prove. I knew when I didn’t like something, or when I wasn’t very good at it. I was curious to see what else out there and less afraid of failing. If it wasn’t a good match, I’d move on.
Somewhere along the way, quitting took on a negative connotation. I was taught to persist at any cost, to not give up. You don’t get ahead by quitting, they said. So maybe I stuck with high school activities for longer than I wanted, or kept a college major I was completely disengaged with.
I don’t disagree that persistence and resilience are key to success. They definitely are, but not at the cost of self awareness.
When I quit my job, one of my primary goals was to reconnect with the things I would do for free. I thought about all of the things I used to do for fun in high school and college. Things no one was paying me to do but I spent all my extra time and energy on. They weren’t activities that I put on a college application or needed for my resume. I did them because they cultivated a childlike wonder within me and provided a sense of community.
We isolate ourselves when we try to force fit into a mold we don’t belong in. Doing something because you feel like you have to is one of the loneliest feelings in the world, despite the fact that so many people are going through the same thing.
I was successful by most standards at my job, but not by my own. I couldn’t be incredible at it because I wasn’t surrounded by things I wanted to learn. I wasn’t motivated to give 150%, and there wasn’t a goal I truly wanted to achieve. I wasn’t inspired and I didn’t feel like I was making an impact I could be proud of. In short, I was holding myself back.
I’m not saying that everyone needs to quit their jobs if they’re unhappy. I know that’s not what everyone needs, nor is everyone is in a position to do so, financially or otherwise.
But what I am saying is that it’s important to start paying attention. If you see someone else take a chance on themselves and that stirs something within you, then take notice. Your insides are likely trying to tell you something. Pay attention to what gives you energy and what takes it away. And if the next step is to slowly fall out of love with something so you can make space for something better, then do it. The child inside of you will thank you.
