The 5 Lessons I Learned about Business and Life from Setting the Table by Danny Meyer
There are two types of books I love. The first are those that manage to articulate how I feel or take things that I theoretically know to be true and bring them to life. There’s something about the joy of reading something and saying “YES! Me too!” or “Finally, someone agrees!” The second are those that change the game in terms of my outlook on life and how I plan to approach certain decisions in the future.
It’s a rare occasion when I find one that so harmoniously does both, and there are few things that make me happier. It may seem odd to gush so enthusiastically about a business book, but I assure you that this one deserves all the praise. Setting the Table, by game-changing restaurateur Danny Meyer, which was published in 2006 (so I’m definitely behind) is perhaps so successful because it is so unexpected. The anecdotes and lessons are all centered around what he describes as enlightened hospitality, but in actuality, what he is teaching is how to create enlightened businesses and develop enlightened leaders.
To commemorate the knowledge I’ve gained, I wanted to share 5 learnings that stuck with me right now, as a twenty-something who is in the midst of making some pretty big career decisions. My aim for myself is that as I reread this book in the future, I can look back and see what still strikes a chord and what new lessons become relevant. My aim for you is that reading this inspires you to buy the book (if you haven’t already) and read it slowly and carefully because there is so much more to gain.
Who you are and where you come from will always impact the choices you make — cultivating Self-Awareness is key
One of the things that I appreciate most about the book is how honest and forthcoming it is. Meyer grew up in a household where his father often made big bets in the name of expansion only to be hurt financially as a result. His desire to not repeat his father’s mistakes is a thread that carries through his narrative on how and when he chose to cautiously expand his company. His recognition of his life experiences as a guiding force of his behavior allowed him to work through his past rather than let it hold him back from expanding at all. Had he subconsciously chosen to not repeat his father’s mistakes, we wouldn’t have the world-renowned Eleven Madison Park or the beloved Shake Shack.
Our past experiences and our vulnerabilities are here to stay, the more we lean into learning from them, and encourage others to learn from their own, the better we’ll be as leaders and as teammates.
Be in it for the long haul — seek endurance over trendiness
In the age of ‘doing things for the Instagram’ so many businesses have been started or have released products that capitalize on a trend or look pretty in photos. So much so that popular food blog The Infatuation has a series called “Actually Good or Good for the ‘Gram?” One of the things that Meyer looked for in all of the restaurants he created was the concept’s ability to stand the test of time. He wasn’t interested in creating what was new and hot, he wanted to create cultural institutions, ones that would be engrained in the fabric of the NYC community. The result was that he pioneered instead of piggybacking, inspiring numerous trends to follow.
It’s possible to do things that are relevant without focusing on what’s trending. Thinking about what will work long term instead of what’s popular now is the best way to ensure a business doesn’t disappear as quickly as people’s love for unicorn frappuccinos.
Surround yourself with people who have ‘The Excellence Reflex’ — “the overarching concern to do the right thing well”
Raise your hand if you’ve applied for a job and been denied because of a lack of technical experience. What a resume or a cover letter often leaves out is a person’s true potential if given the right resources, training, and encouragement. Meyer stresses what he calls the 51% to 49% rule. 51% of his focus when hiring someone new is determining their inherent emotional intelligence — the ability to empathize with others and get things done, vs. the 49% focus on actual technical ability. He stresses that it is far easier to teach someone the technical aspects of a job than it is to cultivate kindness and a desire to do things better.
It’s in our best interest to whenever possible, surround ourselves with people who will always rise to the occasion — whether that is someone you hire, choose as a colleague or befriend.
“Change works only when people believe it’s happening for them, not to them” — practice clear, timely communication
The root of people’s fear of change is often a fear of losing control. When you work for any type of organization, change is inevitable. The distinction between navigating it well and navigating it poorly is how empowered you allow your employees to feel as result of the decisions being made. And that lies exclusively in how effectively you communicate, in terms of both content and context. The secret sauce is in “understanding who needs to know what, when people need to know it and why, and then presenting the information in an entirely comprehensible way.”
Effective communication will leave your employees and teammates feeling like they were part of a decision vs. an afterthought and empower them to be a conduit of change and growth vs. a roadblock.
Business is like life, what people remember most is how you make them feel — nurture the soul of your business
The premise of this book is around enlightened hospitality, which Meyer describes as the responsibility to your team members first, followed by your guests, community, suppliers, and investors, in that order. While we’ve heard this version of stakeholder theory before, it’s seldom found in practice. Meyer’s core belief is that the ripple effect of doing right by your employees, guests, community, and suppliers will ultimately benefit your bottom line. It may take more time but will lead to the endurance of what you’ve created. His approach to thinking about his employees as volunteers who have chosen to spend their time at his company and his emphasis on giving without hesitation, to his customers and community, struck a particular chord.
Living in a world where this is the norm instead of the exception starts with nurturing one another for the betterment of all of us. Creating something with soul is not a marketing strategy, it’s a blueprint for leaving people and the world better than you found it.
Case in point? When reflecting on this book with one of my very first and favorite managers, he said, “I’m just a better person at work for having read that book.”
I couldn’t agree more.
