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I have an obsession with happy endings. With symbolism. With wanting things to make sense, tie in a metaphorical bow.
When I quit my job a year ago, I didn’t have a plan. Not a clue of where life would take me or a defined goal I wanted to achieve. Despite all of the anxiety I felt while making the decision, I took comfort in the movie like quality of it all. Of throwing caution to the wind and embracing a life that was meant to find me.
The romantic that I am, I expected a clear and somewhat immediate resolution. That the twists and turns would ultimately lead to a life of my dreams. That simply by taking the first step I’d be rewarded with everything I never knew I wanted.
I was trying to be original but instead went searching for a cliche.
It would take a post much longer than this to share what I found instead. But I’ll summarize it like this: when you wake up every day asking yourself “what do I want?” you’ll find that the answer to that question will never finish with ‘the end’ written in a shiny script. Instead, it’s elusive, ever-evolving, and just like the seasons, has no clear beginning or end.
If what we want is always changing then the benchmarks we create to assess ourselves are almost irrelevant. What we forget is that these markers we create for seasons, or periods in our lives, are made up constructs. Since we’re the only species that has a capacity for imagination, no one can call us out on what we choose to create. The problem…
